A guy was seated next to a 10-year-old girl on an airplane. Being bored, he turned to the girl and said, “Let’s talk. I”ve heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.”
The girl, who was reading a book, closed it slowly and said to the guy, “What would you like to talk about?”
Oh, I don’t know,” said the guy. “How about nuclear power?”
“OK,” she said. “That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow and a deer all eat the same stuff… grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?”
The guy thought about it and said, “Hmmm, I have no idea.”
To which the girl replied, “Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don”t know sh*t?”
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A programmer and an engineer are sitting next to each other on a long flight from Los Angeles to New York.The programmer leans over to the engineer and asks if he would like to play a fun game.The engineer just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.The programmer persists and explains that the game is real easy and is a lot of fun.
He explains “I ask you a question, and if you don’t know the answer, you pay me $5.
Then you ask me a question, and if I don’t know the answer, I’ll pay you $5.”
Again, the engineer politely declines and tries to get to sleep.The programmer, now somewhat agitated, says, “OK, if you don’t know the answer you pay me $5, and if I don’t know the answer, I’ll pay you $100!”
This catches the engineer’s attention, and he sees no end to this torment unless he plays, so he agrees to the game.The programmer asks the first question.
“What’s the distance from the earth to the moon?”
The engineer doesn’t say a word, but reaches into his wallet, pulls out a five dollar bill and hands it to the programmer.Now, it’s the engineer’s turn.
He asks the programmer “What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down on four?”
The programmer looks up at him with a puzzled look.
He takes out his laptop computer and searches all of his references.
He taps into the Airphone with his modem and searches the net and the Library of Congress.
Frustrated, he sends e-mail to his co-workers–all to no avail.After about an hour, he wakes the Engineer and hands him $100.
The engineer politely takes the $100 and turns away to try to get back to sleep.
The programmer, more than a little miffed, shakes the engineer and asks “Well, so what’s the answer?”
Without a word, the engineer reaches into his wallet, hands the programmer $5, and turns away to get back to sleep.
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A young businessman was seated next to an elderly priest on an airplane. Having a minor technical problem at the gate and the flight being delayed, the Captain apologized and announced that the airline would be buying a free round of drinks.
When the charming and very attractive flight attendant came by, the businessman ordered a double scotch. Then she asked the priest if he would like a drink.
“Oh, no thank you,” replied the priest. “I would rather commit adultery than drink alcohol.”
Halting in mid-swallow and dribbling scotch down his front, the businessman quickly replaced his drink on the beverage cart and replied, “Excuse me, miss, I didn’t know I had a choice.”
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